I know. You don't have to say it. You love my lists. How could you not? They are not only informative but a great source of entertainment to boot. So today I present you with the top 5 and bottom 5 places to take your wife for a milestone anniversary! Go get a cup of coffee. You're not going to want to miss this one.
Top 5
5. Caribbean Cruise - This is good if you are on a tight budget and you don't like thinking too much. As long as you aren't a big drinker and you go while school is in, you can do this for as low as $2,000 with some planning and a little luck.
4. Cancun All Inclusive Resort - I know what you are thinking, it's been done a million times. But have you done it without the kids at an adults only resort? Right now prices at some of the adults only resorts are as low as $2,100 for a couple and it includes roundtrip air and your transportation to and from the airport. Imagine not hearing a single voice whining "MAKE HIM STOOO-OOP!" all week... well, unless your wife says it in reference to you.
3. Maui - I know... I've heard all the excuses, the plane trip is too long, it's too expensive, I need to lose 20 pounds before I go on a trip like that.... But your wife has been putting up with a lot for the last 10, 20, or 25 years. Don't you think she deserves a trip like this?
2. Europe - This is it, it's the year you go on that grand tour you've been talking about since before you got married. You start out by flying to London to spend a few nights. Then you take the Chunnel to Paris where you'll spend a couple of nights in a hotel that looks out upon the Eiffel Tower. From there you'll head on to Venice for that romantic gondola ride you've been thinking about since the day you met. Then Florence is just a quick train ride away where you'll see the statue of David and walk across the Ponti Vecchio before heading to your final destination of Rome where you'll spend four amazing nights in a 4 star hotel as you tour the city. You'll visit all that ancient and renaissance Rome has to offer. You'll hold hands as you each toss a coin in the Trevi Fountain, you'll attend mass in St. Peter's Basilica. Who knows you might even fall in love all over again on the Spanish Steps.
1. Bora Bora - I have three words for you.... Over Water Bungalows.... Need I say more? Guys a trip like this is a ticket straight to a 50th Anniversary. So if you really like your wife and think it might be kind of nice to spend the rest of your life with her, a trip to Bora Bora might be exactly what you are looking for.
Bottom 5
5. San Antonio - Before you start, I have nothing against San Antonio. But it just seems to be the "go to" place for Texans who want to get away but don't want to spend more than $300. Let's face it, that little river they have going through town is nothing but a big ditch with food coloring thrown in. I love the Alamo as much as the next native Texan. But do I want to spend my 25th anniversary touring it for the 10th time? I think not. Think it through guys.... she's worth more than a drive to San Antonio.
4. Camping - We get it. Your an outdoorsman and your wife is a good sport. She always goes camping with you and hangs around the campsite cooking and taking care of things. But gentlemen, she is doing that to make everybody else happy not because it's what she enjoys. Nobody actually enjoys going to sleep at night wondering if this is the night a snake crawls into your sleeping bag with you. Splurge, at lease get a hotel room!
3. Golfing, cycling, running, skeet shooting trip - We know you love doing these things with your guy friends. You leave home every weekend to go do this stuff leaving your wife at home with the kids. She has that poor pathetic look on her face or perhaps a grimace of pure rage, as you walk out the back door to get in your truck and leave. So, you've been thinking, maybe I should take the "little lady" along next time.... First of all, don't call her the "little lady" to her face unless you are hoping to go a few rounds of kick boxing with her. Second, that look on her face as you are leaving isn't about wishing she was going skeet shooting with you, it's about the fact that you get to escape for the weekend, while she stays home and attends soccer, softball, baseball and lacrosse games between cleaning closets and cooking meals. For God sake don't put a loaded weapon in her hands if you take her out with your buddies for your 20th anniversary!!!!
2. Family Reunion or any family get together - You love your mom and you love your wife, so why not get them together on your anniversary, right? WRONG!!!! Keep these two women as far apart as possible on your anniversary! If you need further advice on this topic, call me later and I'll discuss it with you. But don't do it!
1. Six Flags - If an explanation is required you should probably go ahead and start shopping for an apartment because it's too late to make up for your indiscretions and lack of attention now with an anniversary trip.
So gentlemen, I hope this has been of some help to you in planning the anniversary trip of a lifetime. If you need more help, I'm only a phone call away and I know most of your wives.
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