Happy No Socks Day, America!

I know, I know, I know....  I haven't written a blog in nearly a month.  I hear about it every time I talk to someone.  Some of the people who have mentioned it seem to be a little too happy for my taste. (Hint - it's not nice to come across as giddy when you bring up the fact that you haven't seen a blog from me in a while.) But nevertheless, I feel missed.  The fact is, I was having trouble coming up with topics.  When you do this everyday, it's hard to continue to be as original and wildly entertaining as I have tried to be.

So now that I have finally decided to wade back into the blogging waters, as it were, I have two topics to choose from and I find myself having a little trouble deciding between them.  The first is that it's No Socks Day.  And I suppose since there is only one No Socks Day a year, it's more urgent than my other choice. I'm not able to confirm if this is an international holiday or simply a national holiday but it's exciting anyway. After all, it means that the rest of you are perhaps joining me in my daily choice of footwear.  At the very least, the knowledge that it is officially No Socks Day may turn your attention to the really important matters of our day to day existence like the planning of your next vacation.

I'm not going to lie, in my line of work, No Socks Day is just another day like the other 364.  But if everyday you put on sturdy work boots to spend your day in construction, working on a farm or doing other hard labor, you're just asking for trouble if you don't wear socks with them.  That means, this should be at the very least a national holiday.  One in which EVERYONE in the labor force gets the day off.... paid. After all, I'm sure that the creators of No Socks Day weren't pushing for people to end up with horrific blisters on their tootsies each May 9th.  If so, May 9th would be called Blisters Day and we all know that May 9th is in fact, Lost Sock Memorial Day. No sir, the No Socks Day founders thought, in their infinite wisdom, that if you didn't wear socks on May 8th, you would be forced to stay home from work. And if you are forced to stay home from work either barefoot or in flip flops, your thoughts naturally turn to other times when your feet might be similarly clad.  Hence, it's time to think about a Caribbean vacation.

Of course there are other places besides the Caribbean where you can be barefoot or wear flip flops all the time, but being in Texas, the Caribbean is so convenient... and blue!!!!  And most importantly NOBODY wears socks there!  It is the perfect place to consider visiting if you have a violent opposition to socks.  Once when I worked at the former employer who shall not be named, while I was working in stores, a customer approached me in the boys department. She was desperately in search of socks for her son that did not have a seam at the toe... anywhere near the toe. She explained that her child was autistic and for some reason the seam near his toe was completely intolerable for him. We didn't have any socks that would work for the boy, but it left me thinking what a horrible thing to have a compulsive aversion to.

How would you get through life if you couldn't stand having a seam near your toes?  You'd have to live every day as No Socks Day! I'm thinking that this might require a move to some place like Antigua or St. Kitts.  I bet there are a lot of people there who don't even own socks.  Can you imagine going through life with no sock drawer?  Never again standing in front of the dryer wondering where the other sock that matches the one you are holding disappeared to?  That would be a wonderful life indeed! I doubt that there is a single sign in Antigua that reads No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service.  It's like heaven for people with compulsive aversions to socks.  Another place that would be wonderful to visit if you don't like socks is Roatan, Honduras.  After all, I've never seen a place with a sign like this one in Dallas.

They are probably partying "like it's 1999" at the Barefeet Restaurant and Bar in Roatan today. I like going into an establishment where you are discouraged from wearing shoes.  It's my kind of place.

Maybe that's why I'm such a big Parrothead.  Jimmy Buffett hardly ever wears shoes on stage and when he does they're flip flops.  I bet Jimmy doesn't have a sock drawer.  I think he, like me, probably celebrates No Socks Day almost 365 days a year. It's just how we roll.... Jimmy and I.

Anyway, I hope this is your best No Socks Day ever!  While you enjoy it, think about how much more pleasant it would be if next year you enjoyed No Socks Day with an ice cold Corona in your hand as your toes wiggled around in the sand of a beach in the Caribbean and give me a call if you want to make it happen.